"It's so far."
Bertram is portrayed by Kevin Chamberlin.
Bertram is the Ross family's lazy and grouchy butler, who seems to care very little for the kids and calls them "The Nanny Killers." Even though he rarely shows it, he does have a soft side for them. He doesn't however, he seem to like Jessie sometimes , though he sometimes gives her advice, not knowing his intentions and mistakens where she is from. Bertram often takes time for himself and wishes he could quit his job, but quit once, then came back. He spends his time cleaning, reading magazines on the couch, watching TV in the screening room, and eating bacon-wrapped donuts. The Ross kids insult him sometimes when he tries to help them. When the father is home he pays extra attention to his job. But not so much when the mom is in home.
- Out of all the Ross kids, he dislikes Luke the most and likes Zuri and Ravi the most. He said that his favorite is Ravi in the episode, Snack Attack and said that he likes Zuri the most in the episode Creepy Connie's Curtain Call. His relationship with Emma is unknown.
- He is a hoarder (The Kid Whisperer) and despite seemingly changing his ways in the end, (he reveals to Luke in What a Steal) he still hoards.
- He wanted to go to Cabo for his Christmas vacation, but his flight was cancelled due to the large amount of snow. (Christmas Story).
- Most of his high school classmates got bald and/or went to jail. (One Day Wonders).
- He writes Fanfiction about Justin Bieber. (Make New Friends But Hide the Old).
- He went to one of Zuri's tea parties. (Zombie Tea Party 5).
- He can sing like an opera singer.
- He was in the wrestling club in high school. (World Wide Web of Lies).
- He once went out with Mrs. Chesterfield so that Jessie wouldn't lose her job and Zuri wouldn't get in trouble. (Romancing the Crone).
- He is very lazy and takes 6-hour naps.